OutRunners is a two-player, split-screen variant of OutRun.

I only have one player, so the split-screen aspect of this game was very annoying.

But at least there’s this:

Seriously.

“I’m gonna rock your chair, grandpa!”

I’m not really going to be playing Golden Axe Warrior.

I’ve already played it, several times.

I’m mentioning it here because it is purified awesome encased in plastic.

It is the lost sequel to The Legend of Zelda.

It is a pure, unashamed rip-off of the original Zelda…  And that’s what makes it so good.

Most games try to “Innovate” or change the core gameplay, so that they’re like Zelda, but not an exact copy.  That usually just ends up making the game suck.  GAW didn’t take that route.  They saw that Zelda worked, they saw why Zelda worked, and they stole it all.

There’s a series of underground dungeons, with a magic item and a slice of Ultimate Power protected by a boss in each one.  There’s doors locked by keys.  You slowly upgrade your weapons and armor (And you change color when you do).  There are even secrets hiding in trees and pig-faced arrow-shooting enemies.

There are also some additions, like a boat, a few villages scattered about, and an item that will help reveal secrets.

All in all, this game is what Zelda II should have been.  If you haven’t played it, go find it and play it right now.  It wasn’t on the Virtual Console the last time I checked ((Can’t imagine why not…)), but I think it was part of the Ultimate Genesis Collection for the XBox 360, available in bargain bins everywhere.

Aztec Adventure has gameplay that’s somewhat reminiscent of a Zelda game.

If Zelda had linear levels, didn’t have dungeons, and gave you the ability to bribe bunny rabbits and dogs dressed in Aztec clothes to fight by your side.

Which Zelda doesn’t have, of course.

So this game’s really nothing at all like Zelda.

OutRun is a bit like RoadBlasters with all of the Spy Hunter bits removed.

It’s a race against time through the European countryside.  Start on the Riviera, then drive through Stonehenge, the Alps, a forest, even the Windmills of the Netherlands.

At least, I think that’s what this is supposed to be.  It’s hard to tell.  This isn’t the best arcade translation ever made.  The graphics in this version suck.  The fork in the road had more flicker than an Atari Pac-Man ghost.  And when you flip the car, the driver and passenger vanish.  How can it be OutRun if the blonde doesn’t hit you for flipping the Ferrari?

The music is recognizable, but I’ve heard better versions of it.  However, Magical Sound Shower is still Magical Sound Shower which is seven different kinds of awesome in almost any version.

Putt & Putter is a mini-golf game. 

With conveyer belts. 

And hills.

And switches and pinball bumpers and sugary upbeat music.

Seriously, there’s a game called “Trampoline Terror!”

You wander around platforms floating in the air, attempting to blow up a certain number of switches to finish the level.  Apparently trying to stop you are robots and rabbits and Moai heads and UFOs, as well as gravity.  You’ve got a limited supply of power balls to use against them, or, if you time it right, you can blow up an enemy or two when you hit a switch.

There are various types of platforms: Solid ground, switches that explode, disappearing platforms, and the titular trampolines.  The trampolines cycle through colors, each time you jump on them.  Green, Blue, Yellow, Red.  After Red, the trampoline breaks, leaving a hole that you can fall through.

I’m not exactly sure where the terror is, though.

Dizzy was never all that popular on this side of the pond, but from what I understand, he had a big following in Europe.  I’ve talked about Dizzy before, when I wrote about the Aladdin Deck Enhancer for the NES.

Dizzy is an egg that likes to wander around a colorful fantasy land and pick up stars

and pick up items

and die an awful lot.

The gameplay is a sort of mix between Metroid and King’s Quest.  It’s a platform/puzzle adventure.  You have to find various items to solve puzzles, and most of these puzzles open up a new area for you to explore.  The one downside to the game is its frustrating difficulty.  This game doesn’t have as many cheap one-hit-kills like Treasure Island Dizzy did, and there are health restoration items around, but those items don’t return, which means you’ll probably pick them up when you don’t need one, so there won’t be one around when you’re close to death.  There’s no passwords, no saves, and not really any continues, which means that you can be playing for hours and lose it all because you made the wrong jump or because you accidentally touched a butterfly.

Yes, the butterflies will kill you.  Everything kills you.

It’s a shame, really.  The puzzle platforming part of the game is fun, but having to start from the beginning over and over again is not fun.

Maybe I just need to find the Game Genie invincibility code…

I don’t think this game was actually ever released in North America, but you’ve heard of it.  You might not know that you’d heard of it, but you have.

No, really.  You have.  Trust me.

All your base are belong to it.

This is the Japanese version, though, so no wacky Engrish translation to be found here.

The game itself is a fairly generic R-Type or Gradius clone, where every ‘ZIG’ set somebody up the bomb for great justice.  Or something like that.  I’m not any good at horizontal shooter shmups, so I played through to the second level, then stopped.

The Immortal.  The title does not refer to your character.

The title doesn’t refer to the monsters you meet, either.

I actually have no idea what the title refers to.  I got to this room and stopped playing.

I think that’s something like the third room in the game…

The game is very quick to kill you and very unforgiving when it does.  I couldn’t figure out the battle controls, either and just ended up pushing the D-Pad randomly to win.

This is a game I’d rather not waste any more time playing…