{"id":2125,"date":"2011-09-07T23:51:45","date_gmt":"2011-09-08T06:51:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/?p=2125"},"modified":"2011-09-07T23:51:45","modified_gmt":"2011-09-08T06:51:45","slug":"option-d-none-of-the-above","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/2011\/09\/07\/option-d-none-of-the-above\/","title":{"rendered":"Option D: None of the Above"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

There’s something I want to tell all of you, so I’ll get right to it:<\/p>\n

I’m not exactly straight.<\/p>\n

Now, that probably doesn’t really come as a huge surprise if you know me.\u00c2\u00a0 After all, I never talk about women.\u00c2\u00a0 Classic sign of being in the closet, right?<\/p>\n

Except no, not gay, either.<\/p>\n

I used to think that I was straight, but not very good at it.\u00c2\u00a0 After all, I had a girlfriend once.\u00c2\u00a0 Sort of.\u00c2\u00a0 And in the rare event that I’ve found people pleasing to look at, they’ve invariably been women.\u00c2\u00a0 I just never felt compelled to try to start a relationship with any of them, and if any of them ever tried to hit on me, I completely missed the signals.\u00c2\u00a0 I just figured I was shy or insecure or something.<\/p>\n

Then, a couple of months ago, it suddenly struck me with total clarity that my perception of sex was completely different from anyone else I’d ever encountered.\u00c2\u00a0 The way other people describe sex and desire feels completely alien to me.\u00c2\u00a0 Everyone else seems to look at sex as one of the most important things in their lives, just after air, water and food, while I generally rate it somewhere far less important than remembering to leave home with a paperclip in my pocket.\u00c2\u00a0 Seriously.\u00c2\u00a0 I always leave home with a paperclip in my pocket, and if I ever happen to lose it, I always get a replacement right away, while I haven’t had sex in almost nine years and I don’t miss it at all.\u00c2\u00a0 When I looked at women, I didn’t imagine them naked, I imagined them playing Jeopardy.\u00c2\u00a0 I didn’t think about taking them to my bed, I thought about taking them on vacation and letting them drive.<\/p>\n

By now, you’re probably confused.\u00c2\u00a0 I know I was.\u00c2\u00a0 Not straight, not gay, and it pretty much goes without saying, not bi.\u00c2\u00a0 So, what’s left?<\/p>\n

Option D:\u00c2\u00a0 None of the Above.<\/em><\/p>\n

It wasn’t shyness, it wasn’t insecurity, it wasn’t repressed homosexual tendencies, it wasn’t guilt.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m just not interested in sex, that’s all.<\/p>\n

It’s called “asexuality”.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s sort of the fourth orientation, alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality.\u00c2\u00a0 Straight people are attracted to members of the opposite sex, gays are attracted to the same sex, bi people are attracted to both, and aces aren’t attracted to anyone.<\/p>\n

That sense of stunned disbelief you’re probably feeling right now ain’t got nothing on what I went through when I found out myself.\u00c2\u00a0 Gotta tell ya, it’s quite the experience to watch your entire life get rewritten by a single discovery.\u00c2\u00a0 You know those movies with the twist endings, where there’s some big unexpected reveal that completely changes EVERYTHING that had happened up to that point?\u00c2\u00a0 Yeah, my life did *that<\/em>*.<\/p>\n

Then again, if you know me, you’re probably not stunned at all.\u00c2\u00a0 You’re probably thinking something along the lines of “Really?\u00c2\u00a0 That’s it?\u00c2\u00a0 You’re just now figuring this out?\u00c2\u00a0 What took you so long?\u00c2\u00a0 I knew that YEARS ago…”\u00c2\u00a0 I mean, nothing changes at all.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m still me, just like I was last week or last year.\u00c2\u00a0 All this means is that I have a name for how I feel.<\/p>\n

So anyway, there you have it.\u00c2\u00a0 If you think that I’m just making it up, I’m not.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s on Wikipedia, therefore it must be true:\u00c2\u00a0 http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Asexuality<\/a><\/p>\n

To my parents:<\/strong>\u00c2\u00a0 Sorry that you’re finding out about all of this in this impersonal way, but come on, you already knew.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m 31, I’ve only had one girlfriend, and I’m clearly more interested in my video game collection than women.\u00c2\u00a0 What did you think was going on?
\nTo my brother (and sister-in-law):\u00c2\u00a0<\/strong> Thanks for giving our parents some grandkids so I don’t have to.
\nTo the ex-girlfriend:\u00c2\u00a0<\/strong> Sorry for wasting your time and all that.\u00c2\u00a0 At least it wasn’t just you.
\nTo my coworkers:<\/strong>\u00c2\u00a0 Be honest now…\u00c2\u00a0 There had to have been speculation going on.\u00c2\u00a0 Probably a betting pool, too.\u00c2\u00a0 Did anyone win?<\/p>\n

I’ll be writing more on the topic in the days ahead, so I’ll probably end up addressing any questions you might have.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There’s something I want to tell all of you, so I’ll get right to it: I’m not exactly straight. Now, that probably doesn’t really come as a huge surprise if you know me.\u00c2\u00a0 After all, I never talk about women.\u00c2\u00a0 Classic sign of being in the closet, right? Except no, not gay, either. I used […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2125"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2125"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2125\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2127,"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2125\/revisions\/2127"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2125"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2125"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2125"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}