{"id":1833,"date":"2010-12-05T20:43:21","date_gmt":"2010-12-06T04:43:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/?p=1833"},"modified":"2010-12-05T20:43:21","modified_gmt":"2010-12-06T04:43:21","slug":"electric-curiosities-le-stick-joystick-box","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/2010\/12\/05\/electric-curiosities-le-stick-joystick-box\/","title":{"rendered":"Electric Curiosities: “Le Stick” Joystick Box"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I’ve talked about Le Stick before, in a post I wrote about motion controllers <\/a>from the early days of gaming.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s a slightly-phallic looking gravity controller, presumably using mercury switches or something like that to sense orientation.\u00c2\u00a0 Tilting it forward is like pushing up on the joystick, tilting it left moves you left and so on.<\/p>\n

At least that’s the theory.\u00c2\u00a0 In practice, it’s more like you’re trying to play\u00c2\u00a0a game\u00c2\u00a0while having a seizure.\u00c2\u00a0 Up moves up and down moves right, and your character flails wildly in circles until it dies.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s a terrible controller.<\/p>\n

I, of course, had to buy two of them.<\/p>\n

But then, one day, I stumble across one that’s still in its box.\u00c2\u00a0 I don’t really need a third, but come on, IT’S GOT THE BOX!\u00c2\u00a0 I put in the minimum bid, wait three days, and it’s mine.\u00c2\u00a0 I didn’t know what I was in for.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It’s for the Atari 400\/800, Atari 2600, and the Commodore Vic-20.\u00c2\u00a0 Apparently it once sold for $38.95, and I feel very, very sorry for the guy who shelled out that kind of cash in 1981 for this thing.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It certainly is “remarkable”.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s just that the remarks are generally sarcastic and negative.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

LE STICK<\/p>\n

The ultimate goal in microcomputer hardware.\u00c2\u00a0 Add more control and realism to your personal computer or home video game. ((More control?\u00c2\u00a0 No.\u00c2\u00a0 And realism?\u00c2\u00a0 It’s still an Atari 2600.\u00c2\u00a0 It doesn’t change the fact that you’re playing a medium-sized square that shoots small squares at big squares.))<\/p>\n

With simple one-handed movements, you can maneuver your sights in any direction you want.\u00c2\u00a0 ((I want to\u00c2\u00a0manuever my sights down.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0Not right.\u00c2\u00a0 DOWN.\u00c2\u00a0 And you won’t let me do that.))\u00c2\u00a0The large red push button on top provides a quick and accurate firing mechanism for better response time.\u00c2\u00a0 ((You’re bragging that your joystick has a button?\u00c2\u00a0 Okay…))<\/p>\n

LE STICK\u00e2\u201e\u00a2 will eliminate all the frustrations you experience with conventional joysticks or keyboards.\u00c2\u00a0 ((…while simultaneously introducing you to exciting new frustrations never found with conventional joysticks or keyboards.))<\/p>\n

LE STICK\u00e2\u201e\u00a2, the joystick of the future.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It’s gotta be good if it’s FROM THE FUTURE!<\/p>\n

Wait…\u00c2\u00a0 Scratch that.\u00c2\u00a0 If this is the joystick of the future, I don’t want to see the future.\u00c2\u00a0 Please stop time so that I can stay here, where joysticks don’t suck.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

LE STICK\u00e2\u201e\u00a2 Features:<\/p>\n

Easy to grip handle<\/p>\n

One-handed operation<\/p>\n

Motion detectors to sense hand movements<\/p>\n

Large push button on top<\/p>\n

“Squeeze-switch” to freeze motion<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So far, this has all been typical marketing copy.\u00c2\u00a0 Nothing really special.\u00c2\u00a0 Although, I have to say that I wasn’t aware that there was the squeeze switch feature until I read this, not that it helps at all.<\/p>\n

But then I\u00c2\u00a0looked at the artwork on that\u00c2\u00a0last panel and…\u00c2\u00a0 O M G<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I say again:\u00c2\u00a0 OMG<\/strong><\/p>\n

Wow.\u00c2\u00a0 That has to be unintentional.\u00c2\u00a0 They couldn’t have actually…\u00c2\u00a0 Could they?\u00c2\u00a0 No, no…\u00c2\u00a0 I mean…\u00c2\u00a0 Really?<\/p>\n

Really?<\/p>\n

The hand even has hooker nails!<\/em>\u00c2\u00a0 OMGLOLWTF.<\/p>\n

It’s like the prototype was sent to the artist who had no idea what it could possibly be, so they assumed that it was some sort of high-tech marital aid and illustrated accordingly.\u00c2\u00a0 I mean, yeah, the thing is vaguely phallic in appearance, but I never thought they’d take it that far.<\/p>\n

Of course, you really have to see the picture and the text together to get the full experience…<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Well, I guess if the joystick is that bad, you gotta do something to get people to buy it…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve talked about Le Stick before, in a post I wrote about motion controllers from the early days of gaming.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s a slightly-phallic looking gravity controller, presumably using mercury switches or something like that to sense orientation.\u00c2\u00a0 Tilting it forward is like pushing up on the joystick, tilting it left moves you left and so […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[112],"tags":[17,39,175,238,26],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1833"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1833"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1833\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1843,"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1833\/revisions\/1843"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1833"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1833"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathpirate.net\/log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1833"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}